Interview with Gary from Choices – My Secrets
Hi Gary, I just want to welcome you to our little group.
Oh, thanks for having me.
Could you tell us what attracted you to Rachel?
Sure can. She is absolutely beautiful and talented. I saw her at all the games when we played against her school. She has the most amazing smile and sparkle in her eyes. Her long hair, the color of mahogany and shiny.
She almost makes you feel like you know her just by the look she gives you. She was real friendly too. I could see how other kids approached her and the laughs they had. I wanted to laugh with her too.
It seems as though she won you over even before you met her. Did she?
Yeah, you know that feeling you get inside when you see someone that has a certain look about them and you like it. You feel like wow, and you’ll do what ever you can to meet them. That’s how I felt about Rachel.
What was it like when you first talked to her at Down Towns Pizza?
Oh man that was great! I was so nervous and thought she wouldn’t like me at all. I figured she wouldn’t talk to me because we go to rival schools. I always thought that tradition was just plain dumb. But when she responded to me that feeling really took off. I usually don’t talk or feel like this, but Rachel is extra special. I couldn’t believe that she said yes when I asked her out.
What was the first date with her like and can you describe what you both were feeling?
It was awesome! We went up to the tracks and talked and then we walked through the fields overlooking the town. We really got to know a lot about each other. We had conversations that were nice, not fake, but easy. Like I said, she is warm, easy going, and great to talk to; she listens. Then we kissed, hugged, and shared a few looks. It was different in a nice way.
Gary, could you tell me what happened on that last night you spent together?
It’s hard for me. I have learned a lot since then. I have grown up a lot. I thought that we had something good, but afterwards I felt guilty because we did the wrong thing. I didn’t talk about my problems and she didn’t tell me hers.
Sports and college all at once was huge and it took up my time. It overwhelmed me. I didn’t know what to do. This is difficult for me to talk about but I want people to really know what can happen. Yeah, sure movies and life go on, but some choices we make just stick, and then what do you do? Life is real and so are our choices.
What happened after you got to college?
When I got to school and practice started my mind was there. I had so much to learn and to keep up with…I just slowly let her slip away. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I really like her and still do. She and I talked for about 2 months afterwards, but she never mentioned that she was sick or feeling weird or anything like that. I wasn’t sure even what she would feel.
Our conversations really weren’t conversations anymore. They were just like I miss you, wish you were here, yeah me too. But college and practice take all my time. I would tell Rachel I’ve got to go study or eat or something like that and then she would say ok I will text you later and call you tomorrow. Sure, sounds good, well then, good bye.
She never seemed upset or even said she was pregnant so I thought I was lucky and what happened that night during the heat of passion just went away. She sent me text messages and e-mails but I was so into school and practice, then games. I couldn’t find any time to respond.
How did you feel like when you found out Rachel secrets?
I was scared to death man. I felt like hell. I wanted to run far away. It took me a while to catch my breath. My stomach felt hollow. It was more than scary. Then I was concerned about Rachel.
My mind still scattered, I didn’t know what to do. My whole life flashed in front of me. All along I thought that I had dodged the bullet. But deep inside I knew what happened that night and couldn’t bring myself to face it or even talk about it. If I had it to do all over again, I never would have slept with her.
Can you tell me about some of your thoughts?
I am still a bit shy about it. My mind is all over the place. I’ve learned some serious stuff lately and I want to share it openly. My coach and my parents have taught me a lot and Rachel has told me all about what happened to her. I am amazed at how some of the choices we make can cause so many problems. My coach always says never go out on the field with out a game plan and if that doesn’t work have a back up plan. I knew that about sports – just didn’t know I needed to apply it to life.
Sounds like your coach might be right. Has he shared with you any other wisdom?
Yeah, he was very surprised. My mom and dad were very upset with my choices, but all supportive about it after I explained everything to them. He and my parents gave me some good advice. Coach reminded me that every play that you make, good or bad, you are still responsible for the outcome. Dad reminded me that a choice is mine to make, right or wrong, but the consequences of it are still mine to keep.
Two different perspectives in life; two different points of view; one a game and the other real life, but both have the same meaning. Mom also told me that just because you did something wrong doesn’t mean that you need to continue to do wrong and hide it or get rid of it. Live up to your choices.
You and Rachel have been through an emotional time. She has given advice to teens and parents through her story. What information can you share with teenagers and parents on this subject?
I suggest teenagers and parents get together and talk it out. Sit down and go through this roller coaster now and describe what a relationship should be like for your teen and what can happen if you choose to have a relationship above your head. Then talk about how to handle that. Information like this is for real, and dangerous if left out.
Rachel and I want teenagers and parents to know her story and mine so they can make better choices than we did. When Rachel was able to tell me all that she went through I hurt for her. I told her what I went through too. Together we want to help teens understand their choices better.
Don’t listen to your peers that say it is all fun and nothing ever happens. It can happen. It happened to Rachel and me. Listen to your parents, they know. They really know. Rachel and I both wish we had. The best advice I can offer is to talk about it first with each other and then your parents. Having a conversation is much easier before something happens, than after.
Gary, I know that was very hard for you to share your choices and experiences with us.
Thank you and good luck. May Christ be with you!
Thanks for having me here today and giving me a chance to share my choices, my secrets and the consequences with your readers. May Christ be with you also.