Interview with Root Karbunkulus from The Questory of Root Karbunkulus
KM: Hi! I’m Kornelius Maddle of the DréAmm Herald and I’m here with young miss Root Karbunkulus, one of the competitors of the First Magisterial Treasure Quest of DréAmm. Hello, Root! Thanks for stopping by!
R: Hi Kornelius, I’m..er…glad to be here!
KM: Well, now this must be quite overwhelming for you, returning to DréAmm after fourteen years away, your entire life really.
R: Oh yeah, it was a huge surprise, especially finding out my rotten aunts Octavia and Carblotta weren’t really my aunts. But then I was glad ‘cause I could finally get outta there.
KM: Indeed and now here you are, an invited participant in what is being touted as the greatest scavenger hunt of all time.
R: Yeah, that part’s pretty cool, ‘specially that I’ve got Magic, too. Even though I haven’t been able to use it yet. Jorab says it can take some time to come back after being dormant for so long.
KM: And who could argue with Jorab? Unless you wanted to be turned into a wood slug anytime soon. Ha Ha. So, I understand you’ve had your debriefing then?
R: Yeah, all us kids, looked like hundreds of us…we got to have this amazing feast in the castle courtyard, which is soooo beautiful by the way! It’s got trees called Fire Blossoms with real buds of light and…
KM: Yes, I’m aware of Fire Blossoms…so, there were no…erm…incidents,then? In the castle I mean?
R: Like accidents?
KM: Well, there is a Krux on the castle; one must be careful or one may find oneself without a tongue or with an extra head coming out of one’s belly button…or so I’ve…heard.
R: Well, as long as you stay out of the cold spots you should be okay. And there weren’t any cold spots in the courtyard that night. At least none that I felt. But I heard that they can move around.
KM: Mmmm. So, tell me about the debriefing.
R: Well, after we ate, the Guardian of DréAmm, Studaben Picklepug took the podium and told us that this is the first of SIX races! I nearly died when I found that out! Then he kinda talked for a bit about sponsors and stuff and then he introduced this really intimidating guy named Borgnine Blick. He’s the Master of the….
KM: The Brédin, yes. Go on.
R: Oh right. Well, he kinda scared a lot of kids outta doing the race ‘cause he said it’d be really, really hard. But there was no way I wasn’t gonna do it! So, anyhow, he was talking about the rules, like y’can’t use magic on competitors and stuff and we were going to be put into teams of three and…
KM: Yes, I understand Lord Blick’s son is on your team.
R: Yeah, Lian! Man, we were so happy when he called our names together… ‘cause we’d already met when we were accidentally put in the same room and…
R: Oh right. Sorry. So, then we also got a guy named Dwyn Puffler on our team.
KM: Yes, another child from one of the human orphanages.
R: Right. And at first I was ripped off ‘cause he can be so irritating but then I thought well, at least he’s better than Kor Bludgitt who looks and acts like an ugly skinny mean goat and Hilly Punyun who, forget the panties, she’s got a tiara for each day of the week and…
KM: Other team players?
KM: And you were to come up with names of your teams?
R: I was just getting’ t’that. So, we had to come up with names of our teams and the three of us, me, Lian and Dwyn were all arguing and we couldn’t agree on a name and then all of a sudden we hear this really loud screeching sound and we race to the window to see. And there’s all this crazy lighting and stuff…it’s a wicked storm and then from, like the middle of the forest this huge, amazing flying creature, all red and gold is rising from the trees and heading straight into the storm! I was like, what is that?
KM: You saw a Valador.
KM: They are quite wonderful aren’t they?
R: Oh yeah! They’re awesome and then Lian told us that they’re kinda like a symbol of courage and selfness and stuff like that and that’s when it hit us!
KM: The Valador hit you?
R: No. That’s how we got the name.
R: From the Valador!
KM: It spoke to you? Oh my!
R: No! We called ourselves the Valadors…after seeing it! Y’know like it…inspired us.
KM: Oh. (ahem) I see. (bigger ahem, one of those topic changing ahems) Well, and so I understand that you have also learned of the item you are to seek?
R: Yeah, it’s called the Miist of Kalliope.
KM: Okay, that’s very funny. What is it really called?
R: That is what it’s called.
KM: Are you serious? You are looking for the Miist of Kalliope? One of the most powerful elixirs of all time, made by a traitor to DréAmm?
KM: The same of which has been searched for years without success? And now they are going to send out a bunch of snot-nosed kids to find it?
KM: Are you lying to me?
R: No! Why are you looking at me like that? Look, all I know is what we’ve been told, that we’re supposed to find the Miist of Kalliope and that out of hundreds of us there are only six to be found and…
R: Yeah, and then there are supposedly only five of the next item and then only four and then three and then…
KM: I get it.
R: Until there’s only two teams left going after the last one item.
KM: Hmmmm. Hmm. HmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMmmmm…
R: Excuse me?
KM: Oh, look at the time. I’m afraid I’ve got to…uh…go…you know, when nature calls…
KM: Thank you very much for joining me, Miss Root. We here are DréAmm Herald wish you all the best of luck and hope you return…well…in one piece would be nice.
R: Thanks. I think.
KM: This is Kornelius Mabble saying “Akadak, I’m on the track!” Until next time, fair and homely friends!