Conrad (Rad) Sanders Demands Respect from the Author (From Talion by Mary Maddox)

AUTHOR: Thanks for agreeing to come, Rad.

RAD: I agree to nothing. I’m here to set the record straight. And tell the world what an underhanded bitch you are.

AUTHOR: Why the hostility? Talion is published. People will read about you now.

RAD: Okay, we’ll begin with the title since you brought it up. The book used to be Rad’s Kiss. You waste-canned a sexy title like Rad’s Kiss and replaced it with Talion. Sounds like the title of a trashy fantasy novel. But maybe that’s fitting. Lu is trash, and angel boy is her screwed-up fantasy.

AUTHOR: If you had your way, the entire story would be about you.

RAD: I’m the only interesting character in the novel. Look at your parade of losers – that slut Norleen and her moron husband, humdrum hotel owners, insipid teenagers.

AUTHOR: That’s unfair. Maybe Hank and Debbie have humdrum lives, but they’re far from boring characters. And Lu and Lisa are anything but insipid.

RAD: I’ll tell you what’s unfair, the twisted fate that cast me into your imagination and left me at the mercy of your idiotic decisions.

AUTHOR: Come on, what’s really bothering you?

RAD: You cut my seduction of Andrea Altman.

AUTHOR: You’re angry about that?  I thought you wouldn’t mind. You hate everything about Andrea, even her perfume. Remember? The scent of tuber roses reminds you of your mother.

RAD: My scenes with Andrea are among the best in the novel, right up there with me doing the girl with cinnamon hair.

AUTHOR: Those scenes slowed down the action.

RAD: I bang the bitch. Isn’t that enough action? Did you want me to kill her too? Believe me, I’ve dreamed of dragging her to my farmhouse in the country and tying her down in the basement, where she could scream to my heart’s content.

AUTHOR: Your interlude with Andrea had no effect on the story’s outcome. Its only purpose was to reveal the depravity of your character, which was already obvious.

RAD: That’s hardly the only purpose of my “interlude,” as you call it. Everything else in your novel gives the impression I’m a loser who gets off on torturing women to punish them for my inadequacy. But I seduce Andrea on our second date. And I don’t have a problem getting it up.

AUTHOR: I’m surprised you care what readers think.

RAD: I don’t. This is about you and me. It’s about respect. A woman’s got no business telling my story anyway, but it wasn’t like anyone gave me a choice. You have an obligation to me.

AUTHOR: I have larger obligation to the story and my readers. Look, I didn’t mean any disrespect. It was an editorial decision. I can’t put your scenes with Andrea back in the book, but I can post them on my Web site.

RAD: What kind of sorry consolation prize is that?

AUTHOR: It’s the best I can do.

RAD: The best you can do isn’t much, as usual. Okay. I’ll be checking your Web site to make sure my scenes are up there.  Another thing – you better watch your back when you’re dreaming. I can still get inside your head any time I want.

Read about Rad’s seduction of Andrea at

About Nyx

Podcaster, baker, zine reviewer and maker.

Posted on November 16, 2010, in Character Interview. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Conrad (Rad) Sanders Demands Respect from the Author (From Talion by Mary Maddox).

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